Nick Cannon and his baby mother Alyssa Scott continue to mourn the loss of their baby boy Zen. The parents only shared 5 months with their newborn before he unfortunately passed. Nick made the announcement on his talk show earlier this week, and now Alyssa is taking to her social media to share memories of Zen and reflect on their experience together.
In the lengthy post Alyssa said “Oh my sweet Zen. The soreness I felt in my arm from holding you is slowly fading away. It’s a painful reminder that you are no longer here.” The video shows clips of young Zen’s first shoot, bath time and visits to the hospital. The baby boy passed due to a brain tumor. ” I caught myself looking in the backseat as I was driving only to see the mirror no longer reflecting your perfect face back at me. When I close a door too loudly I hold my breath and wince knowing a soft cry will shortly follow. It doesn’t come.”
Alyssa calls this new silence “deafening” and feels like the last 5 months have been a blur. She tells baby Zen that he kept her going, smiling at her even through the worst of it. “We were a team” she says, “both determined to see this through.” She says she feels the love from Cannon’s supporters and those who have reached out after hearing their story. The emotional clip is scored by Jhene Aiko’s “Promises.” “Promises” carries a great deal of sadness and irony because the song is about Aiko’s older brother Miyagi, who was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor in 2010 and died in 2012 at the age of 26.
For Cannon, this has been an unusual year to say the least. For most of it, the television and entertainment mogul was criticized for his growing family. Zen shared his birth year and month with siblings Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir, whom Cannon shares with DJ Abby De La Rosa. Cannon fielded questions about why he choose to procreate so much, which he’s defended saying that he’s been blessed enough to support a large family. Nick also used his own health issues as an excuse, saying that Lupis has made him want to live his life to the fullest. Cannon decided to return to work this week despite family and friends asking him to take some time off. “A lot of people keep asking me like, ‘Man why are you even at work?’ Especially my family members, ‘Boy you need to go sit down somewhere, you got too many jobs already. Allow yourself to just be yourself,’ ” Cannon said.
Cannon says for him it is not work, it is love. he says he feels guilty on so many levels, and that he is torn but working through it. Nick shared his final photo with baby Zen, a beach picture with mom Alyssa. Cannon says he held his baby boy for the last time over the weekend before saying goodbye. The mourning father dedicated the episode of his talk show to Zen, and told fans that he was not sure how he was going to do, but he was determined to keep working and fighting through the sadness.